This week, the world's best golfer, Scottie Scheffler, displayed a sense of vulnerability and honesty that we can all learn from. Sitting at a podium, Scheffler peeled back the curtain and showed us what success without vision looks like.
He said the feeling of winning fades almost instantly. Within minutes of hoisting a trophy, his mind was already wandering to “what’s for dinner?” Scheffler admitted that he has been chasing a moving finish line throughout his entire career. Win one tournament, and the next battle starts immediately.
Does this sound familiar?
Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar refers to it as the Arrival Fallacy: the belief that achieving a goal will bring lasting fulfillment.
I was guilty of this for decades, and while my addiction to success worked well for the job, it didn’t work so well for those who should have mattered more.
I loved the job so much, I sacrificed loving those who really mattered. There is no requirement for the job to love you back, and when you pour everything into that one-sided relationship, it will burn you.
The sting came the day I retired.
One day, I was Major Travis Yates with an office full of accolades and certificates, and the next day, 30 years of achievements and many peers I considered friends were gone. Don’t get me wrong, I was blessed during my career and had opportunities that most can only dream of, but a one-sided love affair is a dysfunctional relationship that will never end well.
There’s a reason law enforcement jokes about dividing up your equipment when you leave, but they fail to mention that your access to the building is turned off, and your phone number is lost as well.
You may not understand any of this, especially if you are still on the job, but one day, you will, and this is where Scheffler’s words can help you.
Name Your Addiction Before It Names You
Leaders who tie their worth to worldly success will experience emptiness. I denied it by simply calling myself ambitious towards the next goal. Being a goal-oriented leader is a good thing, but relating those achievements (that you don’t always control) to yourself as a person can be a recipe for destruction.
Anchor Identity in Relationships
No one wants to hear stories from the plumber or lawyer, but they want to hear from you. People are so enamored by law enforcement that we offer ride-alongs, and if we aren’t careful, we will be seduced by the idea that law enforcement is what we are rather than what we do. No matter how hard you try, this will be a challenge; however, long-term satisfaction can only be achieved by placing your identity in what truly matters.
Measure What Matters
There is a difference between accomplishment and fulfillment. Accomplishment is external, measured in certificates, titles, and the applause of others. It’s what you do. Fulfillment is internal, measured in peace, purpose, and alignment with your values. It’s who you are. You can achieve great things and still feel empty if your accomplishments are disconnected from what matters most. Authentic leadership recognizes this gap and chooses to chase what lasts, not just what impresses those who won’t matter beyond the job.
Set Boundaries
Scottie Scheffler set a clear boundary in his comments. If golf ever costs him his family, he’s done. He'd rather be remembered as a great father than a great golfer.
He drew the line in the sand and made it crystal clear.
This is the capstone of Courageous Leadership, and few today understand it.
In a world obsessed with achievement, Scheffler chose integrity. In a culture that rewards sacrifice at the altar of success, he refuses to offer up what matters the most.
This is unicorn behavior, exceptionally rare, but unmistakably powerful when witnessed.
Setting boundaries tells your team, your peers, and your family exactly where you stand. More importantly, it permits them to do the same.
This is where leadership turns into legacy.
Dr. Travis Yates retired as a commander with a large municipal police department after 30 years of service. He is the author of “The Courageous Police Leader: A Survival Guide for Combating Cowards, Chaos & Lies.” His risk management and leadership seminars have been taught to thousands of professionals across the world. He is a graduate of the FBI National Academy with a Doctorate Degree in Strategic Leadership and the CEO of the Courageous Police Leadership Alliance.
Share this post